Communication Can be Lost Along the Way with Autism

“I don’t even care about the academic stuff…I just want him to make friends, to be able to ask for something in a shop, get on a bus, even get a job when he grows up…the things that most of us do automatically…”

Autism is a very complicated condition. There are many different types of autism, ranging from Kanner’s, or classic, autism, to Asperger’s Syndrome or High Functioning Autism. People who have classic autism may have extreme symptoms, such as not being able to make eye contact at all and not being able to speak or to communicate their needs in other ways, and may need an enormous amount of support in their day-to-day activities.

They may need help with their personal care as well as with their social and communication needs. This can also be true of people who have high functioning autism. They may have average or above average”IQ, but can still struggle significantly with caring for themselves and interacting with others.

Asperger Syndrome is often described as ‘mild autism’, and maybe to the parents of children with classic autism this seems to be the case, but for  parents of a child with Aspergers Syndrome they will say that there is nothing ‘mild’ about its symptoms. Individuals on the autism spectrum are exactly that — individuals — and the degree to which autism affects them and the form that this takes, will vary from person to person.

THE TRIAD OF IMPAIRMENTS

It is generally agreed that the defining aspects of autism are the difficulties that individuals have, to varying degrees, in 3 specific areas: social interaction and social understanding; communication skills (verbal and non-verbal); and flexibility of thought and behavior. Let’s look at each of these in a little more detail.

Difficulties in Social Interaction and Social Understanding

People with autism may find it difficult to interact with others and may not understand social situations or what is expected of them. A simple example of this is letting a door go as you walk through it, instead of holding it open for the person behind you. This is a basic social skill that neurotypical people will learn probably without even being taught.

People with autism, may come across as rude and ignorant, when the truth is they just haven’t picked up on the social etiquette of holding the door open for someone coming behind them. People with autism are often unaware of the social aspects of the society we live in; they can be completely oblivious to the social culture going on around them and only focus on their own immediate needs and wants.

It may be that they have some awareness of social etiquette and expectations, but they may think these silly and unnecessary; they may put more value on the truth than on sparing someone’s feelings, for example. It is possible to teach correct social interaction, such as saying hello or shaking hands when meeting someone in a more formal setting, but teaching social understanding is more difficult. Despite their often high IQs, people with autism spectrum condition aren’t always able to take something they have learned in one situation and transfer it to another, and so gaining skills in social interaction and social understanding is often a life-long, ongoing work in progress for them.

It is often the case that we teach our children how to act and comply with the correct social behaviour in one setting, and expect them to know that this is how they should behave in similar social settings, only then to see them struggle completely.

When that situation changes even slightly: for example, sitting quietly in the cinema to watch a film, and then having to go through the whole thing again next time you take them to the cinema because it’s a different film, or a different cinema, or you are sitting in different seats.

Or you may have taught them to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, or wait their turn in a queue in a shop, but they may not understand why they are doing or saying these things, other than Mum or Dad has promised them chocolate if they do! This may be one reason why it is so hard for someone who has autism to comply with social etiquette; if you don’t understand why you are
doing something you are less likely to recognize situations where you need to do this again, and to do so of your own volition.

Difficulties in Communication Skills (verbal and non-verbal)

The communication difficulties experienced by people who have autism are very wide and varied, but the fact is that with autism spectrum condition there will be some level of difficulty when it comes to communicating with others. It may be difficult for someone with autism to initiate a conversation, to join in an ongoing conversation, or even to respond appropriately to a conversation initiated by someone else.

Non-verbal communication accounts for a massive amount of our understanding of other people and of their intentions towards us. People who have an autism spectrum condition, whether this be classic or High Functioning Autism, will have difficulty in reading other people’s body language and their facial expressions, and this will obviously lead to confusion on their part and a tendency to, ‘get it wrong’.

It is well documented  that some people with autism have a ‘special interest’, a subject that they are totally fascinated by and absorbed in, and sometimes they will talk for long periods of time on this topic. The problem is ‘that other people may not always want to listen, and the person with autism is probably not skilled in picking up the non-verbal cues that the ‘listener’ is no longer listening, and wants the talker to be quiet.

Of course, some individuals with autism may have no (or very little) speech and be completely unable to make their needs known. If in addition they cannot understand what people mean when they speak to them, they can become stressed, and indeed feel very vulnerable. An example of this vulnerability is the bullying that so many people with autism spectrum condition experience. They may be befriended by someone who is in fact having a laugh at their expense, or even harming them in some obvious way, yet not realize what the nature of the relationship actually is and really believe this person is a friend. Parents often report that their young person with autism has been in trouble at school or with the police because others have exploited his or her vulnerability and led the young person into doing something wrong or even illegal.

This lack of understanding regarding social and communication skills is not necessarily indicative of lower intelligence — far from it — but it is clear that we need to help our young people recognize body language and other non-verbal cues in order to teach them about friendships and other relationships, and to help them get the best out of their experiences of communication.

How do you feel when your child is diagnosed with AUTISM?

From our hearts to yours,